A Life Worth Living

I grew up in a wealthy home as a kid. My dad was obsessed with making money, his car and living “the good life” in front of everyone around him. It affected me because I thought that was how things were because it’s all that I knew. There were so many times that as a kid that I wished he would take the time to go camping with me or have an adventure together instead of always working. 

My mom was so different from my father. She didn’t need much, she was humble and loved her kids with all of her heart. I was always closer to mom growing up because when she spent time with you, she wanted to be there in that moment with you rather than feeling like “it had to be done.” 

My dad wanted my brothers and I to take after him and become a doctor or work somewhere in the medical field. The sad part was that he did most of it because of the lifestyle and not to help actual patients. I never understood that even until this day. In college my dad came to visit me and while sitting at lunch he told me that he was leaving my mom. As I sat there in disbelief all I could say is, “Why?” And he replied with, “I’ve never really been true to your mother for years and now it’s time for me to move on with my life.” 

Some of you may have your mouths dropped right now or some may be thinking “I can totally relate to you right now.” That was such a blow to me in that moment. I had always wondered how the two of them fit together but now it all made sense. Mom loved being a mom but was in some ways trapped but had a good life being taken care of…

In that moment, I went back to my dorm room and called the administration office to let them know I was no longer attending medical school. Sure, it may have been a quick call but as I saw my father make the choices he did, I knew I did not want to go anywhere near that path he was going down. Not in any way am I bashing the medical field, this was solely a decision due to what I grew up with.

I was 20 and had dropped out of college not knowing what the heck I was going to do. There’s a pier that I always use to go to right off the North Carolina shore. I was sitting there one afternoon just trying to do a little thinking about what to do with my life when I noticed this homeless guy sitting there on the beach. He turned around and looked right at me. You could feel his eyes just staring into your soul too. I looked away and when I looked back he was already making his way up to me. Of course I had a thought that he was going to come attack me or ask me for money which I didn’t have. He came and sat right beside me. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and as I tried to break the awkwardness he says, “Shhh, just listen.” We sat there for another few minutes and then he asked me, “What are you searching for son?” 

Me: “I have no idea what direction to take with my life. What I’ve known or grown up with is now just a blur.” 

Man: “Don’t look at bad things that happen in your life as being punished, look at them as if your next chapter is about to be written. I had everything you could ever want or that money could buy about a year ago. I lost my job, my house, friends (that weren’t real friends) and what others might call the ‘good life.’

Me: “You lost it all? How are you making it now without anything?”

Man: “Ah, you see that’s just it…I didn’t really need a thing, I needed a new perspective. Too many feel like they have to have this perfect life when really there is no perfect life even though people like to pretend on facebook. Yes, I know what facebook is kid. Now that I don’t live the fast life I’ve learned to slow down and notice things around me, even people just like you.” 

Me: “So you want to stay this way or do you have an idea of what you want to do from here?”

Man: “You see that for sale sign over there hanging in that beach front store? I would love to open a restaurant right there where people can walk to and from the beach while enjoying some good southern food. That’s what I would do at least.” 

Me: “That actually sounds like a great plan. I have always wanted to own my own business but never shared that with my dad because he wouldn’t get it. He tended to look down on many small business owners.”

Man: “Well then what are you waiting for? Life is short kid to spend it doing things that you hate or wasting it away just away a ton of money. You don’t have to have all the answers, you just have to have faith.”

Me: “You’re right. I’ve just never had anyone tell me that. I’ve always been given everything rather than working for something and I feel like that’s what I’ve been missing. This is always what I wished my dad would have done with me, just sit and listen to me. How did you know that I was searching for something?”

Man: “It’s called slowing down and it’s what I do.”

As the man stood up, the sun hit his face just at the perfect moment that literally almost blinded me where I had to turn and look away. I stood up and he stuck out his hand to me while saying, “Go find what makes you happy, don’t be afraid but also never let money consume you that it blinds what you’re here to do.” 

He walked away and back down to the beach. As I started to walk away, I turned back to see if he was still down there and he was gone. Yes, gone. 

Fast forward 5 years later…

I now own a surf shop on the beach and also teach disabled kids how to surf. I’ve never been happier. A few months after I spoke to the man on the beach, I talked with my mom about what I wanted to do and she said to me, “I knew you would find your way and do something amazing with your life.” She had put away money over time in hopes that my brothers and I would break out of the family mold that my dad built around us. She helped me fund the beginning stages of my surf shop and helped me in every aspect possible to make it one amazing business. Who knew that mom was such a business savvy person?

I went back to the beach a few months later to try and find that man I had spoken to but he was nowhere to be found. I asked a local cop if he had seen him around but he said to me, “Son, I’ve been working this area for 10 years and never seen the man you’re describing to me.” 

I had to really think about it and wondered if it was a dream or something but I know it wasn’t a dream at all. It was real. Maybe he was an angel, I wouldn’t doubt it at all. Whatever he was, I owed him a big thank you for taking the time to listen and making me realize it’s ok to slow down and pay attention. 

Here’s to doing what you love and a life worth living. 

-Graham 

There use to be a time where a handshake was “enough” to do business.  I saw this on Huffington Post and this really puts things in perspective. I’ve been in business for 10 years and the last 5 years have been a fast track for technology/social media. I was talking to a friend the other day and they asked what our twitter handle was, our instagram account, facebook fan page etc.  Let me be clear, I am up to date with things but I choose not to use the social media stuff because it takes up way too much of my time and I partly think it’s a joke. I’m sure your mouth is dropping right now and judging me for not “keeping up with the times” BUT my friend, that is where you are wrong. My father ran a business for over 40 years on a handshake, honesty and face to face interaction with customers. He instilled these values in me with my own business that are the core of what businesses today are missing out on.  I’m 33 and most think that I’m crazy for not using social media for my business or even personally but what can I say, I don’t like to follow the crowd. I’ve had more people tell me that they love the fact that we provide the “old school” way of customer service rather than only responding by email, tweets or even automated phone messages.  Why am I telling you this? Because, you need to know that it’s okay to run your business the way YOU want to run it. Don’t get caught up in the nonsense that society tells you run with and that it’s the only way that your business will succeed. The business depends on you and your hard work, not how many tweets you send out a day.  The old school way is not out of style… -Jeremiah in TN 
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There use to be a time where a handshake was “enough” to do business. 

I saw this on Huffington Post and this really puts things in perspective. I’ve been in business for 10 years and the last 5 years have been a fast track for technology/social media. I was talking to a friend the other day and they asked what our twitter handle was, our instagram account, facebook fan page etc. 

Let me be clear, I am up to date with things but I choose not to use the social media stuff because it takes up way too much of my time and I partly think it’s a joke. I’m sure your mouth is dropping right now and judging me for not “keeping up with the times” BUT my friend, that is where you are wrong. My father ran a business for over 40 years on a handshake, honesty and face to face interaction with customers. He instilled these values in me with my own business that are the core of what businesses today are missing out on. 

I’m 33 and most think that I’m crazy for not using social media for my business or even personally but what can I say, I don’t like to follow the crowd. I’ve had more people tell me that they love the fact that we provide the “old school” way of customer service rather than only responding by email, tweets or even automated phone messages. 

Why am I telling you this? Because, you need to know that it’s okay to run your business the way YOU want to run it. Don’t get caught up in the nonsense that society tells you run with and that it’s the only way that your business will succeed. The business depends on you and your hard work, not how many tweets you send out a day. 

The old school way is not out of style…

-Jeremiah in TN 

A Truck Driver’s Story

I’ve been a truck driver for over 16 years and I’ve had the chance to see a lot of places and not to mention, met some great people along the way. About 2 years ago I was cutting through Oklahoma and decided to stop for a hot coffee to warm up and get a shot of caffeine. I went into a small cafe and ordered a coffee. As I walked in I noticed an older gentleman on the pay-phone talking to someone about how he was doing his best to get there on time. I got my coffee and as I was headed out the door, I saw the man quietly walk outside by himself. I went up to him and asked if he could use a ride and his eyes immediately lit up and replied with, ” You don’t mind? That would be so great!” I asked where he was headed and he said he was headed to TN which is exactly where I was headed to make a drop off. 

We jumped in the truck and headed towards our destination. The old man was quiet for a while so I decided to ask him who he was talking to on the phone with at the cafe. He said to me, “Let me tell you a little story… about 25 years ago I went into business with my brother. We had big dreams and wanted to make them all come true together. One day we didn’t see eye to eye over something so stupid and small that it caused us to not speak to each other for the last 10 years. 2 days ago I got a phone call that he had passed away from cancer. He had asked for me to come see him when they knew he didn’t have much time left but I couldn’t set my pride aside enough to go see him and now I am left with this to deal with this pain. I’m headed to TN to lay him to rest and face family that I left behind because of our pointless fallout.”

The man got quiet again and then turns to me to say, “Do you have sisters or brothers?” And I said to him,”Yes, I have 2 older brothers who I haven’t spoken with in a while.” He stares off out to the window again and then says to me, “Son, don’t take life for granted and most of all, set aside your pride and mend broken relationships with those you care about. I have so many regrets and I was that person who told everyone else to live with no regrets but couldn’t make that happen in my own life.” I just told him, “Yes sir.” 

We didn’t speak again until we got to our destination. I dropped him off and as I went to shake his hand, I saw tears welling up in his eyes. He says to me, “Whatever reason you have not touched base with your brothers, fix it.” I nodded and watched him slowly walk to the car he got into to be on his way. I completed my drop off and I decided to call my oldest brother first. We chatted and as we were catching up he said to me, “I’m so glad you called, I was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer yesterday and I need your support right now to get through this.” 

My heart sank.

I know you hear people talk about things happening for a reason and after meeting the man that I took TN, it was even more real to me. It took a stranger telling me about his past and mistake for me to open my eyes. My brother passed away about 4 months later but it brought my other brother and I together again. I now help with the business they were running together to help carry on my brother’s dream and legacy. 

My advice to you is to never write off a stranger or someone passing by. They may be the key to waking you up when you need it most and most definitely never let something that you care about fade away. 

I Am A Mom and Pop

Phillip Tremble